Getting Wiser // Reflections on the Everyday

I love especially good questions.  In my facilitation work, I spend a lot of time crafting questions that will engage and move people…the wicked question (more on that in another blog). 

 “So what are you going to do about it?”  Interesting what becomes the trigger for us to make significant changes in our lives.  This was the question from a friend that moved me to action along the path of becoming more fully alive through improved fitness.

 It is not that I didn’t know what needed to be done and even how to do it.  Previously I worked in the recreation field and taught fitness… intellectually I knew what needed to happen.  What was missing was the motivation and determination to follow through.

 There had been several events leading up to the moment of the question that caused me to realize that I was denying myself all kinds of opportunities and connections with people because of my poor fitness.  These events and the question caused me to realize I was tired of not living the life I wanted to live and that I would no longer make excuses or avoid situations that forced me come to terms with who I was in my totality – emotionally, spiritually and physically.

 I have been down this path so many times in the past… so what was different this time? 

 I admitted that I could not do this alone.  The most important part of my journey was recognizing that I have a wide network of people who care and support me. The question was posed on June 26 of last year and on July 1^st I had my first session with a trainer.  Seeking out help and support has led to a wonderful relationship with my trainer (and now my acupuncturist and massage therapist…)

 I recognized that this is not a short term project.  This is the rest of my life and the journey is about health and adventure. 

 For the first time in my working career I made a commitment to myself to recognize the importance of making ‘me’ a priority.  To get to this place I needed to make a commitment to someone else so that I would not let other things ‘creep’ into me time.  My schedule with my trainer means that I need to leave work early twice a week.  I am unwavering in my decision that these sessions take priority over everything else.  This time is non-negotiable and it is an amazing feeling to stand steadfast in this commitment to myself.  Now I am at a place where the commitment is truly to me and not to my trainer.

 So what have I learned so far?

 I am amazed by the disconnection I have with my body.  Through lack of attention and awareness, I cannot feel certain muscles so have no idea if I am moving them.  I have to learn what it feels like when they are engaged.  It causes me to think about those parts of my life and people that I don’t pay attention to and how easy it is to move through life unaware of the disconnection.  I am learning that it is important to be conscious and intentional in maintaining connections.  I remember working for an amazing leader (during a secondment from my job).  I worked really hard accomplishing a lot for the organization.  One day he stopped me and indicated that while I was doing great work my time with him was not about getting a lot done.  He asked me a question that also caused me to take a very different path.  “Who do you want to be?  And how can I help you become that person you want to be?”  And just as I am relearning how to move my body to become fully functional, the same is true for other parts of my life to ensure that I do not miss out on the wholeness of becoming who I want to be. 

 Working out is a living demonstration of systems thinking and how everything is connected.  As I experience new ways of moving it has caused reactions in other parts of my body leading to acupuncture and massage therapy.  I believe some of the tightness is a result of old ways of being trying to hold onto the familiar and fighting to maintain old bad habits;  reminding me that it takes time and commitment to allow change and the new ways of being to take hold.  Also am learning about the unintended consequences of poor eating.  I am amazed at how my strength and balance are affected when I eat foods that are not healthy and how immediate the reaction is.

 As I work out I am noticing a shift in my internal self talk.  Sweating is leading to positive self talk and encouragement.  On occasion I have used the word “can’t” and then immediately prove to myself I can.  As I gain strength I can see how much more I can do and am able to celebrate this progress.  Through shedding old ways of doing things and limiting self beliefs I am moving forward with a new kind of wisdom – becoming wiser – which opens up to living life fully!